I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
