Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
