Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize