Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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