We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
