She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
