i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
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Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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