How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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