your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
