I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I puked a lego.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize