Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
