those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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