I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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