just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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