oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize