shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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