All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
babies were throwing up all over the place
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
