i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
