batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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