I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
