I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
