I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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