She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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