Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
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she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
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