I don't think brook has ever known best
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need to align my fucking chakras
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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