margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
