That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
