can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
