guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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