My sheets look like a crime scene.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't think brook has ever known best
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
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Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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