i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize