he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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