I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
