i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
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