But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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