i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
