She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
