my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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