Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
