I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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