we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
