I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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