So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
