My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
