she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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