Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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