Where did you get a picture of my penis
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
