omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
