wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
