Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
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There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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