i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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