Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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