I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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