i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
