Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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