YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
