batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is Oprah even human
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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