There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
