if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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