I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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