he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
