I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
