Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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