Where did you get a picture of my penis
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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